Data protection laws tend to treat personal information differently depending on how much damage its exposure could do.
And what could be more intimate than our sex life?
With GDPR, there’s a some things get extra protection by default, like health records, biometric identifiers, and very explicitly, anything to do with one’s “sex life or sexual orientation”. This means that processing it needs a higher bar than normal consent – it has to be affirmatively lifted, not just disclosed in a privacy policy.
For platforms built around dating and connection outside the mainstream, that clause is a big constraint that the entire product has to be designed around.
The case that made the stakes concrete
Norway’s data protection authority, Datatilsynet, made this concrete in 2021. They fined Grindr NOK 65 million (around €6.5m) for sharing user data with advertising partners (MoPub, AdColony, OpenX, Smaato to name a few) without valid consent. The data included GPS location, IP address, advertising ID, age and gender. Grindr argued the shared information didn’t reveal a specific sexual orientation but Datatilsynet disagreed, saying something quite interesting: It ruled that the fact of being a Grindr user is in and of itself data that reveals sexual orientation. And, in a similar vein, this is the case for being a member of kink websites too.
Discretion as infrastructure, not a setting
It’s this ruling that is why platforms serving stigmatised or simply private communities can’t treat discretion as an add-on feature. They must treat such revelations as if they’re sexual orientation, and it must be from the signup onward.
Profiles that don’t require a real name or a face photo, browsing that doesn’t surface publicly, and community features kept behind a member door are becoming standard. Fetish, a kink-positive community built around BDSM dating and connection, works exactly like this. Members build a profile, message others, browse local events and munches, and read forum discussions. But, it’s all inside a space designed around judgment-free anonymity rather than public visibility. The wider market has been moving in the same direction as it grows into a multi-billion-dollar industry, with niche and kink-forward platforms growing in the share they occupy.
The company that got fined for it is now selling it
Four years on from the Datatilsynet decision, Grindr’s own Q1 2025 shareholder letter stated plainly that “privacy isn’t just a feature; it’s the foundation of how we build – and a key reason users continue to choose and trust our platform.” It may be too little too late for some, but in that same quarter, the company shipped a photo-authenticity verification tool and expanded profile-hiding controls. They released its importance.
While many try to argue that we have achieved sexual equality and liberation, it cannot be the case, and until it is, privacy must remain at the center of any service. There is yet to be a publicly gay Premier League Football player, for example, despite there being around 600 in any given season. Kink positivity did experience some public normalisation over the past decade, but we are still in a place where privacy should be a right.