- Audio Artwork
Art + Speakers = how much better the Mona Lisa could have been.
Tired of your girlfriend saying things like ‘you never get me any Art!’ or ‘Where’s my Art already?’? Well, first off, why have you never gotten your girlfriend any art if she keeps saying that? And second, stop worrying, at Swagger we’re here for you: the beautiful and ingenious acoustic aFrame Audio artwork by TruAudio is the solution to your completely normal relationship frustrations.
In a nutshell: She gets Art she can show off to her book club while she rocks some Arcade Fire, and you get beautiful speakers that will impress your friends and confuse her grandparents.[http://www.aframeaudio.com/]
- Jawbone UP
Let’s face it – women are the pragmatic half of the species. They’re better at
ruining running everything, they give birth, and they deal with you – an aspiring yet flawed man. So why not move those non-child-bearing hips and get her something that will actually do her some good? You know she still hasn’t forgotten the football helmet you got her last year.
From Jawbone, “UP is a wristband and app that tracks how you sleep, move and eat—then helps you use that information to feel your best.”
The upside for you? You have a fit and happy girlfriend. Simple. Is there anything better for your sex life than that?[https://jawbone.com/up]
- Fusion Table
Moving in with your girlfriend and in search of the perfect dining table? Here’s a test: close your eyes and picture the best of all possible worlds. Now open your eyes. If the picture above matches the one in your head, then there is something terribly wrong with you. But nevertheless, world peace and harmony aside, this dining table cum pool table is pretty high up there on the scale of Mutually Beneficial.
Offering sleek European design and high quality components, this table should be in every Swagger household.[http://www.fusiontables.com/en/]
- Artoo + Threepio2 Swimsuits
Now these aren’t technically ‘gadgets’, but they resemble R2D2 and C3PO, one essentially a giant beeping gadget so insistent on rescuing Luke and Co. from peril that he did it for three straight movies, and the other one the comic relief.
So why not dress your girlfriend up as one of the greatest heroes/robotic comedians the big screen has ever seen?
She will get all the attention on the beach (which you’ll just have to deal with), and you will get to show her off in this eye-catching bathing suit (which she will just have to deal with).
Now that’s a gift that keeps on giving.[http://blackmilkclothing.com/products/artoo-swimsuit] – Image via Kandibomb.com
- Jellyfish Aquarium
This may be one of the greatest things we’ve ever seen (when it comes to stinging fish and soft neon light). Jellyfish Aquarium + Instrumental contemplative music = Jellyfish Swagger.
Get this for her and she’s guaranteed to love it. Exotic animals floating gently in a beautifully designed tank? Phenomenal. And to top it all off? You’ve fulfilled her desire for small pets – now you can get that Irish Wolfhound you’ve always needed.[http://www.jellyfishart.com/]
- Click & Grow Plant
So you killed her plant and now she resents you. Can she trust you with her child? It seems you’ve found yourself in a precarious position, and here at Swagger Magazine we’re always ready to help.
Introducing the best plant you’ve ever purchased – Click & Grow, the flowerpot that waters itself.
Give her this plant and watch it thrive, forcing her to reconsider her stance on your dubious qualities as a responsible human and child-raiser.
Plus, it just looks nice.[http://www.clickandgrow.com/]
Ok there are six here. You got us, but we had your best interest in mind. Better to have more than less when it comes to buying for the Lady. You can always give the extra one to your mistress.
Written by: Bram Wigzell