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The Swagger Guide to 2013

Sailun Tires

Next Year is Going to be Great

Much to no one鈥檚 surprise, the 2012 doomsayers are going to have to sit on their
hands for another year and wait for the next faux disaster to get excited about. It鈥檚
good for a laugh and not much else, but all joking aside, we鈥檙e really fired up for
next year, everything good is going to keep getting better and we鈥檝e got a lot to look
forward to in the next 12 months. So, with the psychic powers vested in our Men鈥檚
Magazine, Swagger makes our own set of observations and predictions on why 2013
is going to be the best year yet. Hang on to your butts.

#10. All New Facebook


Zuckerberg is planning a change to Facebook that will likely bring the internet
world to its knees. You might be thinking this is a good thing. Though you might want to think twice.
It could just mean more placements for ads and other stuff you don’t use on Facebook like Farmville.

Either way it will be a new change for a new year to your
favorite social gathering of people you never talk to.

#9. Toys

There鈥檚 going to be an AppleTV that makes your current setup look like a horse
drawn carriage, Google Glasses will give us terminator vision (albeit with popups),
a new Xbox and Playstation will keep you up most of the night playing games you
won鈥檛 believe, you鈥檒l be able to roll up your tablet into a scroll and there鈥檚 even more
the electronic juggernauts are keeping under wraps. Our living rooms will never be
the same.

#8. Space

It seems like we鈥檙e always taking baby steps when it comes to space exploration,
but 2013鈥檚 the year we take a big jump. Next year we鈥檒l see the launch of the Gaia
mission, a space camera with over a billion pixels that鈥檚 going to map out 1% of the
Milky Way, or roughly a billion different stars and their solar systems. Get ready to
hear about more planets we might be able to live on.

#7. Superbowl 47.

In a few short months, the SuperBowl is going to be in the party-ready port of New
Orleans. It鈥檚 been an amazing season so far and you鈥檒l be able to see the dust up that
town鈥檚 going to throw from space. Seriously, plan your road trip now. If Drew Brees
were to drag his team into a wildcard spot you could probably expect a critical mass
but the odds makers are saying it鈥檚 going to be Broncos and 49ers. Not too shabby.

#6. Cars

If you鈥檙e a fan of things that go 鈥渧room鈥, then 2013 is going to suit you just fine. As
usual, just about every car is going to get a little better, but the jump might be most
pronounced in the re-imagined Dodge Viper. It鈥檚 140 lbs lighter than last year鈥檚, just
as fast as it鈥檚 immediate predecessors (206 mph), and thanks to a new suspension
system handles so nicely even you鈥檒l be able to handle turns at speeds likely get you
thrown into prison.

#5. A New Welterweight Champ

We don鈥檛 want to take anything away from GSP, but he鈥檚 had a stranglehold on
that belt for too long, and at some point this year, we鈥檙e predicting that crown is
gonna fall. Sooner or later he鈥檚 going to have to fight Johny Hendricks, and we鈥檒l be
crowning a new champ.

#4. Movies

We鈥檙e going to be bombarded with a huge slate of movies for all tastes. Do you like
popcorn action? New Fast and Furious? Check, New Star Trek? Check. In the horror
camp we鈥檙e getting pumped for an insane remake of 鈥淓vil Dead鈥 coming out in April,
and Brad Pit鈥檚 zombie epic 鈥淲orld War Z鈥, and for the serious connoisseur, Gus Van
Saint鈥檚 鈥淧romised Land鈥 will take on Rust Belt American Angst and probably scoop
up all the Oscars in the process.

#3. Women

Women are likely to continue their upward trend to being completely amazing, and
a new year means 365 days of breakout actresses doing artistic nude shots for indie
movies, a summer full of beach body days and mini skirt nights everywhere in the
world, and most of all, Paulina Gretzky is going to do more crazy twitter pics that
make us horny and embarrassed at the same time. While we鈥檙e on the subject鈥

#2. Hockey

As gut-wrenching and as flabbergasting as the NHL Lockout has been, the sun will
rise on this mess and there will be an NHL season next fall with a contract that
stretches into the foreseeable future. We can all start talking around the water
cooler about goals and fights instead of CBA鈥檚 and lawyers. I鈥檒l find it in my heart to
forgive them their trespasses and fall back in love with the best sport our country is
competitive in. I might make them beg, but I鈥檒l take them back.

#1. Justin Bieber Breakdown.

You weirdly don鈥檛 know any of his songs, but you鈥檝e seen this kid鈥檚 face so often
these past few years you鈥檇 be forgiven for thinking he鈥檚 actually important. Take a
pretty聽 19 year old with a god complex, near unlimited financial resources
and glass tiger talent, and what do you get? I鈥檓 not sure but I know it鈥檚 going to be
awesome. You could start an office pool, I鈥檇 put my money on fanatical religious
conversion, drugs, a combination of the two or (fingers crossed) getting mauled by
an exotic pet.


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