The Most Bonkers Shorts …. You Don’t Already Own …. But Should

We wouldn’t be Swagger Magazine if we didn’t turn over every rock in the galaxy to find for our readers those things that no one else but us can find.

Our dear readers, those who don’t realize how absolutely cool they are, especially when they are so busy doing great things that they don’t have time to think about what everyone else thinks.

For our very own highly evolved alpha tribe, we present these Groovy Old Bull Lee Winter Shorts. “But it’s still cold outside” …. The less sturdy and masculine may mumble – Not to worry because almost 50% of your lower body will be protected by a thick, warm, woven pile all the way down to just above your knees. Best of all, the outer material of these shorts offers the added peace of mind and safety of being flame retardant. 

No built-in rub and tug, but these Groovy Winter Shorts have just about everything else a man might need. Brass zip fly closure, heavy imitation horn buttons, two large front poplin slant thru-pockets, and rear screen printed welt pockets provide plenty of room to hold all your daily essentials like bags of money and donuts. Old Bull Lee has a saying “Room is the key, when you’re hung to the knee” and here that is certainly true. A design this wild needs a 9” inseam and a little extra room around the hips, (not baggy, but not trim fit either) since there is no precedent for these shorts, it is something casual that you can get away with wearing anywhere.

This hip insanity is much more than just something groovy to wear while running through fire in the middle of the winter. Made from recycled thermoplastic polymers, this tactile fuzzy material is thick, light-weight, and stretchable – three words you often don’t hear together, but loveable qualities in a world that loves comfort. This saturated retro pattern reaches backwards, but defies being from any previous fashion trend and is almost nostalgia that hasn’t happened yet.

The material for this status symbol arrives by boat from Spain (the country that gave us: space suits, cigarettes, Foosball and the Molotov cocktail) and is then cut & sewn three miles from the beach in sunny California. (By quiet and remarkable sewers who when not working on making Old Bull Lee garments are busy driving all over the country competing in Bible memorization contests – true story – the team record is 46 chapters)

Order regular old cargo shorts and someone from Amazon will likely drop them on your doorstep quicker than you can imagine, but why dress like a dull uncle? Wouldn’t days spent eating sunshine in these groovy shorts – made from the spirit of bright imaginary animals, have a better chance of making unattainable dreams come true anyways?

You can be like everyone else or in the words of Grand Master Flash, you can “Throw your hands up in the air and party like you just don’t care.”

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