In the movies, sex seems so easy. Every couple is compatible, and everyone effortlessly has
their needs met.
In real life, things are vastly different. Everyone has a different idea of what a physical
relationship should look like between partners, and it doesn’t always align with the ones we
Respect and compromise are a big part of any successful relationship. But there are a few
things you can change to have a more physical relationship with your girlfriend while
maintaining mutual respect.
Learn about love languages
The Five Love Languages is a popular relationship book by author Gary Chapman. In the book,
Chapman breaks down the five ways people may receive and give love. And, spoiler alert, it’s
different for everyone.
One of the major breakdowns we have in relationships is that we use our own love languages to
show love to others. But if the other person has a different love language, your efforts aren’t
going to land.
For example, if your love language is Words of Affirmation, you’re going to want to hear how
much you’re loved and appreciated. And you’re going to want to hear it often. If your
girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, she is going to feel most loved when you show
You may think you’re showing love by telling her how much she’s appreciated, but what she
really needs is physical touch. And when your girlfriend feels loved and secure in the
relationship, she’s more likely to engage in a more physical relationship.
Talk openly about sex
If you want your partner to look forward to more physical intimacy, it’s a good idea to check in
to see what she’s enjoying and what she’s not. Physical intimacy is a form of relationship, and
as such, it’s important for both parties to be satisfied.
When you can talk openly about sex, you and your partner can learn likes and dislikes, and your
talks may even lead to increased exploration. Even if it seems painful at first, communication is
always going to improve your physical (and emotional) relationship.
Lay the groundwork
Your physical relationship should include more than just sexual relations. Things like hand-
holding, hugs and innocent cuddles can go a long way to improving your intimacy. If your
girlfriend feels like you only touch her when you want sex, you’re probably not going to get the
level of intimacy you’re after in the bedroom.
As a bonus, these small touches throughout the day can plant the seed of romance in your
girlfriend’s mind. So when you’re ready to get intimate, she may be too. You may have heard
that foreplay begins outside the bedroom, and that can be very true for women.
Work on your performance
As we age, men are more likely to have performance issues. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and
little blue pills aren’t the only type of male enhancement around.
There are natural supplements like ginseng and dietary changes that can boost your
performance in the bedroom, so you’re ready whenever she is.
Set realistic expectations
As we age, it’s normal for us to have sex less frequently than we did in our 20s. So even if your
libido is still strong through middle age, understand that your partner’s desire for sex may be
Instead of making your partner feel guilty about her reduced sex drive, talk through some
things that could boost her libido. Diet and lifestyle changes have been known to increase
sexual desire, and certain herbs can also do the trick.
If she’s open to making a few changes, it may improve your physical relationship in the long term.
Consent is extremely important in any physical relationship, but if there are a few changes you
can make to have a more physical relationship with your girlfriend. Avoid using guilt or any type of coercion. Instead, foster an atmosphere of love and physical affection that may increase her
desire to get physical with you.
Physicality in a relationship typically tends to slow down as the relationship changes. But that
doesn’t mean it has to stop forever. Use these techniques to bring some new passion back into