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The Five Cocktails of Christmas Swagger
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Fix the drinks for the holiday season

There is a segment, and what we estimate is a healthy segment, of our readership
that will never step outside their comfort zone when it comes to their cocktail du
jour. Maybe you鈥檙e happy to be drinking the same G and T as your father before you,
or maybe you discovered the Rye and Coke in high school and never looked back.
Much respect brothers, but even if you aren鈥檛 the kind of guy that can tell a Mint
Julip from a Tom Collins, there鈥檚 gonna come a time, around the holidays as likely as
not, where a woman of some quality is going to ask you to fix her something 鈥渘ice鈥
while you鈥檙e up. It is for this reason we read men鈥檚 magazine articles like this one,
and the good men at Swagger were happy to test drive these recipes for the good of
the piece. We came up for air with the five best Christmas cocktails we could find,
use them responsibly, but, you know, not too responsibly.

SSENSE GLOBAL

#5. Brandy Alexander

1 and 陆 part Brandy
1 part Dark cr猫me de Cacao
1 part Heavy Cream
Nutmeg to taste

Though it鈥檚 traditionally shaken for single servings, this gentleman caller is best
served in a punch bowl, and it鈥檚 classy enough to be fed to family and friends in the
sort of 鈥渄rinking but not 鈥渄rinking鈥 drinking capacity. It鈥檚 heavy on the wholesome/
festive vibe and goes almost criminally well with gingerbread. If you want to pry
Grandma鈥檚 dirty jokes out of her, introduce her to Mr. Alexander.

#4. Mimosa

1 part Champagne (or sparkling white, if you want to be a dick about it)
2 parts Orange Juice
A splash of triple sec

You鈥檙e not going to find a more simple recipe for anything else on this list, but the
Mimosa鈥檚 got a few things going for it that make it a good trick to keep under you
belt. It鈥檚 got, ostensibly, vitamins from fruit juice, which makes it a viable breakfast
for those of us that want to stay slightly toasted for an entire segment of the holiday
season. Thanks to it鈥檚 color and smell it can be consumed by you and your better
half clandestinely, because there鈥檚 some family members who can鈥檛 be convinced it鈥檚
always happy hour on Christmas.

#3. A Strawberry Red

1 part Red Wine
1 part Sprite
In a tall glass filled with chopped strawberries.

If you鈥檝e got someone at the table who doesn鈥檛 like strong red wine, but still wants
something to compliment the food, grab a cutting board and raid the fridge for
some strawberries double quick. It looks pretty fancy for the time it takes, and it鈥檚
one of those cocktails that tastes completely unlike what you鈥檇 expect (in a good
way we mean). The Swagger team liked it best with a Pinot Grigio, but, you know,
whatever鈥檚 lying around will probably do.

#2. Candy Cane

1 part 鈥淏erry鈥 Vodka
1 part Peppermint Schnapps
1 part White Cr猫me de Cacao
陆 part Geradine
Heavy Cream to taste
Crushed peppermint candy

Rim your glass with the crushed candy and pour the already mixed booze on in, then
top it off with some cream. There鈥檚 a class of cocktails that simply are not becoming
of a man of Swagger to consume exactly, but nevertheless inspire a certain level
of indulgence in the gentler sex almost across the board. The Candy Cane is chief
among them. Putting this drink together is going to feel a little like writing your
LSATS in a strip club, but if it鈥檚 a level of difficulty nod you鈥檙e after, this is the way
to go. We鈥檙e assured it tastes like cheap lipstick on a fun date looks, just don鈥檛 let
anybody catch you on camera bringing it out.

#1 Mistletoe Martini

1 陆 parts Gin
1 part Lemonade
2 parts Cranberry Juice

There鈥檚 no neat way to put it, Gin is God鈥檚 perfect panty peeler, and this is the trick
that鈥檚 going to rev the engines on a deal you鈥檝e already sealed (we鈥檙e pretty sure
we鈥檝e had these from shooter girls before). It鈥檚 classy, it鈥檚 quick, it鈥檚 strong but not
too strong, and it鈥檚 exactly the nightcap all those Rat Pack Christmas albums were
talking about. Time to deck the halls, you dog you.

Interested in more Cocktails and Bar Secrets? Click Here!

Written by Jeremy P Beal

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