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Nagging: Swag’s guide to nipping it in the bud

Sailun Tires

There are few constants for all men that transcend the barriers of wealth, race and creed. Eventual death, some measure of taxation, and this: No peace can be truly enjoyed when the woman you love is on your case.

Being a pain in your ass is not, as some low-hanging-fruit comedians would assure you, a good woman’s natural state of being. A woman doesn’t want to spend her time yanking your chain any more than she wants to sound exactly like her mother (or your mother, pick whichever makes you cringe more).

When a good woman nags you, it’s because all is not right in her world, she’s feeling out of whack, and that imbalance is translated into your not being able to do anything right. A dog would piss on your carpet, a woman would rag you out about how the garbage isn’t sorted the way she told you to a million times already.

So, the first thing you have to figure out… why is your dog pissing on the carpet?

#1. Check yourself
Are you slack? You’ve really only got to answer this question to yourself and yourself alone, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask it. Are you pulling your weight? Are you living up to your potential? Is your shit together? Nothing’s going to unnerve a good woman faster than seeing her man underachieve. There’s a million different ways to measure success, but if you’re content with and proud of the day’s work you’ve put in, then the truth is, you’re not the problem. If you’ve been slack, stop being slack, and watch your woman slide back into serendipity faster than you can say “pancakes for breakfast”.

#2. Strife
Women are bombarded by a lot of fucked up media that men can usually laugh off. Even the most confident of women has about fifty different pieces of twisted information trying to turn them into a lunatic by the time they’ve got to work. It’s all trying to make her feel insecure so she’ll buy something she doesn’t need, but the fallout is it’s harder for her to feel contentment. This one’s the easiest thing in the entire world to fix from your end. Let her know you’re a man of discerning tastes and class, that you love her, and that she can trust you. Do it right and she’ll be able to put the dry-cleaning you forgot to pick up into proper perspective.

#3. Her Nerves
A good woman has a lot going on in her life that has nothing to do with you. Shit at work, shit with her friends, shit with her family, existential shit, shit shit shit. Now, if you suspect this is the case but you’re not sure what the problem is, the last goddamn thing you wanna do is pull a non-sequiter and ask her what’s “really bothering her”. What you do is give her a “yes mam’” for the time being and then

get her talking about her day. It’ll come out sooner or later, just listen, empathize, hug (or whatever) and then go back to the football game. Most of the time, they just have to spit it out to feel better.

#4. You’re treating her poorly
Is she nagging you to retaliate because you’re treating her bad? A man with swagger never enters a relationship with a woman he doesn’t respect and consider his equal, and a good woman would never put up with that garbage anyway.

Of course, each and every one of us will find ourselves at some point or another with a woman who simply isn’t good, who enjoys complaining for complaining’s sake. There’s no swagger on earth that can unlock that box, so do yourself a favor, put down whatever it is you’re reading this on, and end the relationship. Life’s too short and you’ve got better ways to spend your time.


Written by: Jeremy P Beal


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